Today Shelly and I walked into a Christian book store in search of a bible that I can actually understand. I looked at several bibles and decided I need to wait until I can afford one as they are not cheap if you want a good one. So I proceeded to look at all the gadgets they had in the store - crosses, key chains, bookmarks, etc. I got some great gift ideas and will be going back as my girlfriend's birthdays approach. I looked a books and read a few back covers, none of which screamed read me. Shelly and I were leaving and I said I wish they had some books on grief from authors that lost children. Well low and behold, they did. Shelly said they do and took me to the Grief book section. We sat down on the floor and proceeded to look through the books.
I found books for loss of spouse, how to deal with grief, becoming a widow - none of which I was looking for. A book title then caught my eye Roses in December. The author is Marilyn Heavilin and she has lost three sons. This book screamed "read me". I felt almost an instant connection just by her title since I lost Brett in December. The next book I picked up had a red balloon on it and is called Safe in the Arms of God (truth from heaven about the death of a child). This book also caught my attention, but not the initial title, but because of the picture on the cover. A sky with a cloud and a single red balloon. You see we will be doing a balloon release at Brett's Celebration - red balloons because it was Brett's favorite color. It seems ironic to me that both these books had some symbolic meaning for me. They screamed out my name. I decided to buy both. Maybe these books will give me some peace? Just not sure if anything will ever help answer my questions.