Mommy's Little Man

As I prepare for Brett's Celebration of Life on April 19th, I have so many mixed feelings.

Brett's birthday is April 17th, he would be turning five. Normally about this time of year I have picked the location of the party, the invitations are done, Brett has chosen his character theme plates and napkins and he is bouncing off the wall with excitement. Instead, I find myself staring at an invitation with a picture of Brett and his contagious smile and the words "A Celebration of Brett's Life in honor of his birthday". Something is so wrong with this. He was suppose to be turning five. He was taken way too early.

I think Ann said it right - "It's bittersweet." I find myself stressing about every detail of this Celebration. I want it to be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. Chris knew his wife all too well when he thought I would "stress out", but I am trying my best to keep it under control. I love you honey.

We have so many people that are helping with this Celebration that "thank you" just doesn't seem like enough, but it is all we have to give right now.

Today I sent an e-mail out to a lot of my close friends asking for them to dig through two years of pictures and send me any and all pictures that they have of Brett and his friends for the photo book that I am working on. My friends got to work and I already have received some e-mails and photos. Today I would like to share with you one of my favorites. I gasped as I saw this picture. I have never seen this picture before, but I do have to say it is beautiful. This is my little man last year at Halloween. Who could not adore this face?

This Celebration is not only for my immediate family, but also my extended family that loved Brett like their own. Chris and I have started - well I guess you could say foundation, but it's not there yet. We have called this yearly annual toy donation Brett's Blessings. I racked my head for days on what to name "it" and Chris came up with this in a minute and what a perfect name it is. Brett was a blessing. What better way to honor my child than to make other children, of all ages happy?

Brett's Blessings will help bring smiles to children in the ICU at Children's Hospital Dallas. My mission is to ask everyone that I know if they would be willing to donate a new, unwrapped toy for many children who are in the ICU. This year we have picked the ICU department specifically because this is where Brett spent his last few hours before passing away. I hope that next year I will be able to spread this toy drive to Children's Medical Center in Dallas as I have now been told by two people that they have nothing like this. Who knows, if this toy drive gets really big, I might just be able to do it this year. Wouldn't that be a blessing. Please spread the word.

So today I leave you with this: Open your hearts. Give to those you don't know. Someday you might be in need of the same.