I think with the help of two of my closest friends I have realized that I need some help. I thought I could put on this brave face and smile when I needed to and that everyone would believe it, but those that know me best figured out that I am in a bad place. I am angry. I am hurt. All of these emotions I feel, I don't want to feel. We hit the six month mark of Brett's passing and I am in worse shape than I was before. I am going to look into some professional help as I have figured out that I can't do this alone. I guess I can finally admit that to myself and to others. My love to those you have figured me out and came to me with your concerns.